THE KING OF STALL TACTICS

Lately, Anthony does not seem to want to go to bed when that clock hits 8pm. When I yell out my nightly "time for bed!" He does a great job grabbing his blanket and monkey pillow pet, running up the stairs, brushing his teeth and plopping that cute little butt of his in to bed. The problem comes when I try to leave the room so that he can actually fall asleep.

For a few weeks he would simply say, "wait Momma, wait!"

"What is it that you need anything?"

"Ummmm.... Ummmm...."

"Goodnight Anthony."

"But Momma!"

"Yes...."

"Ummmm... I love you."

"I love you too."

"Momma!"

[By this time he is really trying my patience]

"Yes Anthony."

"I love you to the moon."

"Alright, goodnight."

"But Momma!!!"

[Yes, still not done stalling if you can believe it.]

"This is the last time I am coming in here Anthony Thomas."

"Umm, Ummm... I love you to the Moon. And the Stars...... And the Sun. Blowing you kisses now."

"I love you too. Goodnight Anthony Thomas."

"Goodnight Momma."

If you can believe it, this usually would mark the end of his nightly let-me-try-and-stay-up-as-late-as-I-possibly-can-and-drive-Momma-nuts-by-calling-her-back-to-my-room-one-hundred-times routine.

I think he started realizing that I was beginning to tire of this nightly routine, so he decided to switch it up. Now, after I tuck him in, give kisses, and say my goodnights, he says, "Momma, can we talk?"

And this is where he starts in with a myriad of questions and random thoughts. Things that I really wonder where in the world he comes up with. Last night I made it a point to keep all of his questions and thoughts in my memory bank so that I could record them here. As it is a really good example of what crazy things his little mind thinks up.

"Miss Jana tooted at school the other day and she said excuse me. No one said anything to her though. It was not a real toot though, just a pretend one."

"How do you make stickers sticky?"

"How do boogers come out of your nose?"

"How do you make lights? I know they put glass on first, but then you tell me what they do. O.K. Mom?"

"How do you make lasers?"

"Do you want to see the letter Ava wrote me for my birthday again?"

"I know all the bad words you can’t say: Damn it, stupid and I hate you. But you can say ruh-roh." [Scooby’s way of saying uh-oh.] Lovely, right?

I amazingly come up with answers to each and every one of his questions. Some might not be all that accurate as I really don't know exactly what stickers are made of that makes them sticky, or how lasers exactly work. But my answers seem to make him happy, and that is really all that matters, right?

Then just when he realizes he is about to lose me, and that he will have to succumb to sleep:

"We can’t forget to say prayers Mom."

"I love you to the moon, and the stars and the sun."

"Mom!! I love you to everything."

"Mom!! Goodnight."

So you can agree that this little boy of mine is the king of Stall tactics when it comes to bed time, no?