WORRY IS MY MIDDLE NAME

I am a worrier. I worried before I had kids, I worry even more [if that is even possible] now that I have kids. I worry about everything.

I worry that they are getting enough to eat, I worry about whether the food they are eating is healthy and good enough for their little bodies, I worry about them getting snatched away from the bus stop from some nasty stranger [a bit over the top, I know], I worry about how well they are doing in school, I worry about them making friends, fitting in, and feeling like they belong, I worry about them getting hurt, picked on or bullied, and I worry about whether I am raising them well enough so that they grow up to be strong, well rounded adults. You get it, worry is my middle name.

So when they started school this year at St. Croix Prep I was a wreck. I had pulled Ava out of Lily lake in March of last year to start school there [which meant she only got 2 months of this new school stuff under her belt], and now Lucas was starting the year off there as a first grader. Everything was going to be new for them - school, classes, teachers, friends - everything. They seemed just fine with it, but it was all too much for this Mom to handle.

I sent them off on the bus for their very first day of school and much to my surprise, I did not even cry. I spent the day busying myself with household chores and playing with Anthony, Liv and Nathan. When they arrived home I didn't give them much time before I started in with the questions. "How was it?" "Do you like your teachers?" "Did you have a good day?" "How was lunch? What did you have?" "Did you make any new friends?" "What did you learn?"

They both stood their staring at me as if I were crazy as they were hit with a myriad of questions. And I guess I don't blame them, as I was acting a bit crazy. But I am a Mom, so I figure I am allowed to be crazy every once in a while. Plus, my craziness is due to the fact that I love them so damn much and want nothing but the very best for them.

Anyway, I didn't get many answers to those questions. I got a few "It was alright's", some "I don't know's"and a couple "good's". All standard I-don't-want-to-answer-your-questions-Mom answers, but that was o.k. I decided that if I were patient and kept asking as the weeks passed by I would get some answers.

Turns out those answers still did not come after 2 weeks of them being at school.

I was feeling a bit bummed that my kids did not want to fill me in on what was going on, when the Mr. offered a suggestion that could help in getting the kids to communicate with me. He suggested [ever so gently] that I stop asking them so many darn questions, give them some space, and time and when they are ready to talk, or if they feel the need to tell me something, they will.

I knew all of this deep down, but for some reason I could not help myself. Whenever the kids would come home from school, my brain would say, "leave them alone, let them have a snack, do their homework, change and go play." My mouth would say "How was it? Did you meet any new friends today, what did you learn? Tell Mom all about it!"

And let me say this is not because I am a nosy, annoying Mom who has to be all up in her kids' business. It is only because I want to know if they are doing well, and feeling happy and confident in their new surroundings. And in their every day life for that matter.

I think my lovely husband could sense I needed something to make me relax a bit. Something telling me that the kids were in fact doing well. So he emailed Lucas' teacher to find out first hand how he was doing. [Boy do I love that man.]

Hi, Deb.

Thank you for the newsletter.

How is Lucas doing? He seems very happy at his new school but he can be painfully shy in the beginning.

Do you think he is adjusting well? Is there anything we need to focus on at home?

Sincerely,

Mr. Shelton

------------------------------------------------

Hello Mr. Shelton,

I'm glad Lucas is happy. I can see a little shyness in Lucas, but not a huge amount. He participates in class and mixes well with the other kids.

In the first week, I noticed him being very observant of where things are and how things are done (like lunch, bathrooms, going from classroom to classroom, etc.). He caught on quickly, and he seems comfortable this week. We've been doing some activities to get to know each others' names, and not only is he getting to know others, others are quick to know him as well. He's the kind of boy everyone wants to be friends with. He is actually getting a little too chatty with his new friends at his table in the classroom once in awhile - that's OK.

I think Lucas is adjusting just beautifully, and by the way he has integrated with the other students, it seems like he's always been here. Thanks for checking in, and for all you do at home. I'm so glad to have you back this year!

Deb

Just what this Mama needed to hear.

After seeing this exchange, I decided to send an email to Miss Ava's teacher as well to see how she was doing.

Hi Mrs. Chamberlain -

I just thought I would check in with you to see how Ava was doing so far this year. She started out at St. Croix Prep in March of last year, so it was an adjustment for her to leave Lily Lake and all of her friends there for a new school. She seemed to do well, but was not there all that long before the school year ended. She and Keelin, who is in another class this year, seemed to connect really well last year during the short time Ava was at St. Croix prep. I know she has mentioned she was bummed that she was not in her class this year. I just wanted to make sure she was doing well both socially and academically so far. I have asked her a few times if she has made some new friends, and who she plays with, sits with at lunch, etc but she does not tell me much. I am certain she is doing just fine, but I still wanted to check in with you.

Also, Ava has been asking me to volunteer in class ever since the first day of school, so I was really bummed that I was not able to help out this Thursday. I have 3 kids still at home with me during the day that unfortunately don't permit me to have much free time to come in and volunteer. But I wanted to let you know that I do have time on Tuesdays as the kids spend that day at their Grandparents each week.

So if you ever have any volunteer opportunities that fall on a Tuesday, please think of me!!

Thanks so much, Maria Shelton

---------------------------------------------------------------

Hi Maria!

Good to hear from you! Ava is a delight to have in our class! She is definitely on the quieter side, but she has occasionally raised her hand to answer a question and add to the discussion. She seems to be getting along really well with Mallory Whitley (I don't know if she's mentioned her to you) and a few other girls in class. Being new to a school half way through is so hard! I moved when I was in 3rd grade so I completely understand how hard it is to pick up and try to make new friends and learn the academics. Ava's academics seem to be pretty good...she's in the Saxon 2 math class with Mr. Reistad and she scored very well on her Reading NWEA test. She's keeping up with the work and activities, too!

If Ava is ever feeling overwhelmed or left out she can always come to me or Mrs. Lynch (our EA). Mrs. Lynch is the one who monitors lunch and recess so I will also talk with her about Ava's social habits and who she's hanging out with!

I hope that helps! If you have any questions please feel free to e-mail or call anytime! Have a great Monday!

Mrs. Chamberlain


Needless to say, these emails have quelled my need for answers from both Ava and Lucas.

At least for now.

What can I say? I'm a Mom, I worry.