THE TOUGH QUESTIONS

We were on the way to Grandma and Papa's tonight when Lucas asked a question. A very interesting question. This tends to happen often in the car. It seems that it is a great place for the kids to have some quiet time, which in turn makes their little minds run wild with questions of all sorts.

This particular question was a difficult one. It took me a minute to figure out exactly what he was asking me, and another few minutes to come up with an answer.

"Hey Mom? When I die, and a mom has a baby in her tummy and then has the baby, is that baby me?"

"What honey?"

"When I die, and a baby comes out of another Mom's tummy, is that baby me coming back alive again?"

Wow. Sort of a heavy question for an almost 6 year old, no?

Lacking an sort of answer with substance, I said,

"Well, no."

"So what happens when we die? Do we just lay there dead?"

Good Lord.

" No honey, you go to Heaven."

"Oh, are you alive in heaven?"

"Well, no."

This is where Ava decides she wants in on the conversation.

"I have never been to Heaven." [go figure.] "What's it like there?"

Again, lacking an answer, I said

"I am not sure, but I am certain it is very peaceful and nice."

"That is where Grandma Lola is, right?"

"Yes, and when we go to heaven we will see her!"

"I thought you said we weren't alive in heaven, so how would be be able to walk around and see her there?"

Insert very long pause as a result of not being able to come up with any sort of good answer, yet again.

"Maybe we can find a book that talks about heaven and we can read it together. That way we can get all of our questions answered."

I spent the rest of the drive to Grandma and Papa's thinking about how tough that conversation was. About how I was unable to come up with any decent answers to all of the questions that were fired at me. About how it really was necessary to find a book on this subject for both the kids and I. For the sole purpose of educating them, and reeducating myself. And about how this is so not going to be the last of the tough questions thrown my way; in fact it is just the beginning of them.