ONE OF THOSE

Ever have one of those days? Weeks? Or even worse, months?

Well I have. This time around it seems to be "one of those months." Which is never a good thing.

You know what I am referring to by "one of those[insert time period]", right? The times where nothing seems to really be going right? Where you feel like you have a list filled with 100 different places you need to be,100 different things that need doing, and no matter how hard you work, it seems like you are not making any progress with the list? And asking for help with this list would be in vain as everything on said list seems to need to be done by you and only you? Where you feel like everyone needs you all at the same time? Where you wish more than anything that there were two, three, maybe even four of you so that the weight of all these things you are carrying around could be lifted, just a little bit? Where you just want to dig yourself a nice cozy hole, curl up in a ball, get on in, have a good cry, and never come out?

Well, if you didn't know, now you do.

This month I have been drowning in it all. My head is spinning with it all. A taste of my day: Morning, alarm goes off. Make my way to Ava's room and coerce her out of her slumber, then off to Lucas' room to get his little sleepy head up. Make my way downstairs with them, help them get dressed as they are most always too sleepy to do it themselves and time is limited before the bus arrives, throw together some sort of breakfast in the hopes that they will at least eat a bit of it, sip down a few cups of coffee in the hopes of waking myself up a bit,get shoes on feet, backpacks on backs, out to the bus stop, run back to the house, get Olivia out of bed, feed her breakfast, Then Anthony usually roams downstairs, try and try to feed him some sort of healthy breakfast, which is usually to no avail as he is not all that thrilled with breakfast as a whole. Take a quick shower, Get Anthony dressed, lunch made, off to preschool, home, Liv down for nap, toys picked up, laundry done, clean a bit, make lunch, feed Liv, change diaper, more laundry, more picking up, time to go wait for Ava and Lucas to get off of bus, then load everyone into the car, and off to preschool to get Anthony, home again, snack time, kids outside to play, change diaper,Liv down for nap, time to make dinner, feed everyone, get ready for dance/Karate/Wednesday learning or whatever activity is going on that night, load everyone in car, off to event, home, quiet time on couch, pajamas on, prayers said, books read, brush their teeth, bed time for the kids, and the day then ends most often with me collapsing on the couch, glass of wine, and remote in hand.

Then comes the next round - All the thoughts that invade my brain once the kids are in bed. All the "I still have to do's"...Need to make sure to mow the lawn tomorrow as it is getting too long, need to strip all beds tomorrow and wash sheets as I am actually caught up on all the other laundry, need to wash the floors, need to get to the grocery store, need to get to Target. Need to help Ava with her sight words, need to help Lucas learn to tie his shoes, need to spend more time playing board games, playing catch and riding bikes with the kids, need to spend more time with the Mr. talking about our days, having date nights. Need to need to need to...

Then I usually make my way upstairs, and find some peace in sleep, only to wake up and do it all over again.

Somedays I have to remind myself that the laundry can wait, the dishes can sit in the dishwasher, the lawn can go unmowed, and that things in general don't always have to be done "right now." Somedays I have to remind myself that I cannot please everyone, I cannot make everyone happy all of the time, or do everything perfectly. I am only human, and I do the best I can. Somedays I have to remind myself to sit down, take a deep breath,relax a bit, and simply enjoy my kids, the Mr. - life in general, as it just goes by way too fast. And really, in the long run all the stuff that fills my brain and at times feels like is swallowing me whole aren't the things that really matter in life. Right?