HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY TO MY OLIVIA GRACE

My Olivia Grace,

Here I sit on the eve of your very first birthday writing you this letter. I was going to wait until tomorrow to write as it seemed appropriate to wait until the actual day of your birth, but a few things came to mind this evening that made me want to write this now.

I was rocking you to sleep tonight in your bedroom, watching you drink your bottle when our eyes met. I smiled down at you and began to sing you our song, and as always, your smile cracked beneath the bottle you had suddenly took a time out from drinking. We stared into each other's eyes for sometime, when I realized I had begun to cry. I was crying out of joy. Joy that I was so lucky to have you, that you were born healthy and happy, that you were growing up, learning new things each day, and becoming your own little person. But I was also crying out of sorrow. Sorrow that you are our very last little baby, sorrow that you are growing up so fast, that tomorrow morning you would be a 1 year old, and that the years would inevitably go by faster and faster.

I need to concentrate on all the joy's and forget about the sorrow's, as the joy's with you my Olivia, are many.

I remember the day I had you as clear as it was yesterday. My labor was a bit difficult with you as you seemed to keep changing your mind as to whether you felt like making your grand entrance into this world or not. After contractions that stopped and started and stopped and started I was finally given pitocin, which seemed to do the trick, as you were born a mere 2 hours later. They laid you on my chest and I got my first good look at you, the little girl that had been swimming around, kicking, and hiccuping inside my belly for 9 months. The little girl that your Daddy and I had created, how amazing. What a wonder you were. So small and delicate, so very beautiful.

We spent that first afternoon together nursing, getting acquainted with one another outside of my womb, and looking into each other's eyes. That evening I could not resist to grab you out of your little crib that was placed next to my bed and nuzzle you close to me, where we slept together, nursing on and off all night long. It was that night that I realized what a peaceful, calm, content little girl you were.

Over the past 12 months you have not changed as far as your disposition. But you have grown in so many other ways. You have sprouted 6 new teeth, yes 6. Most of which all happened to push through at the same time, so we had a few sleepless night around here where you would wake up here and there screaming out in pain. Each time I would go to you and rock you back and forth in the rocking chair until you would finally drift back off to sleep. You learned how to say Mama, Dada and duck. You learned how to crawl, and found your new found freedom very liberating. You loved to climb the stairs, and do circles around the house, exploring. After mastering the crawling thing you started getting into everything. Splashing around in the toilet water, putting everything in your mouth that would fit, whether it was a rock, a toy, a piece of grass, a bug, everything. You would open cupboards and pull everything out of them, you would find your diaper bin and pull all the diapers out and throw them all over the room. You have been one busy little bee this year Miss Olivia, always keeping Mama on her toes!

Of the many things you have learned above, there is one missing. My favorite thing you have learned to do just this week. You started laughing. And this is no ordinary laugh little girl. This is the sweetest little belly laugh I have ever heard. You do this so often, and it is always accompanied by your smile. The smile that most everyone who meets you points out and adores. Yes, this is my favorite thing....

There are days in which I wish more than anything that I could freeze time, so that I could have endless time to revel in all your new found abilities. But then I realize what a joy it has been throughout this year seeing you grow, learn things. Seeing you begin to develop your own little personality. And I realize that I so look forward to seeing you grow in different ways, learn new things, and slowly develop yourself into a strong, independent, beautiful young woman.

I want you to know how very proud I am of all that you have learned and all the milestones you have met this first year of your life. But most of all, I want you to know how very proud I am to be your Momma, and how very much you are loved.

Happy Birthday my Olivia Grace!