What the Heck Happened to My Body?

(My pre-pregnancy body.... Wish I could get it back, exactly like this. Darn.)

KIDS happened to my body, that's what happened.

I was looking at my lovely self in the mirror today (in my birthday suit) prior to getting in the shower and found myself wanting to weep. I am just not liking what I see lately, to be more specific, I am not liking what I am seeing after carrying, and pushing out 4 children.

With clothes off....

(I will start at the bottom and work my way up) My upper thighs are flabby and jiggle around while I go about my business around the house, my butt is saggy and flabby, my stomach is stretchy and flabby, and lastly, my used to be favorite part of my body, my girls (aka boobs) are covered in stretch marks, and just plain old don't look like they did pre-kids.

This part makes me saddest of all as they used to be my favorite part or shall I say parts. I never had "big ones", but I did not consider them small either, just a nice handful (how my lovely Brian used to describe them.) I do have to say that they have not met their demise quite yet, in fact, right now they are actually looking pretty nice.

And big.

And perky.

Unfortunately this is short lived as the reason for them looking so nice big and perky is that I am still nursing Olivia. I am thinking this is one of the reasons I don't quite want to give up nursing her yet as I know what will happen when I do....

Ready for it??

They slowly drain of all the milk, which in turn causes them to get saggy and limp, which in turn makes the stretch marks on them even more noticeable. Ugh, I hate to even think of it. I am only 32, and my body already looks like an 80 year olds. NOT OK. I know, I am dramatic, but it makes for good entertainment, right?

With clothes on....

Not much to say. Actually, I have nothing to complain about. I think I look great, as all of the aforementioned (I like this word) flaws are hidden away.

I know, complain, complain, complain, but I find it a bit cathartic to complain on occasion.

I should probably mention that all this complaining does not go unnoticed by my lovely Brian. He once tried to tell me that maybe, just maybe these body changes were not due to having children, but were due to simply getting older. Ah, let's just say that did not go over well. At all. He quickly changed his tune and on the occasions I get frustrated and worked up about my body when "disrobed" (is that a word?)he simply tells me that I am still as hot as the day I met him. I think this may be a bit of a stretch, but I love him for saying it anyway. He always makes me feel better about myself, he is good AND smart like that.....

On the other hand, my OB doctor tells me like it is. She has no reason to sugar coat anything as she does not have to live with me. I love my OB doctor. Love her, love her, love her. But I hate how she is so honest about things. I happened to mention at my postpardum check up after I had Ava (6 years ago) that I was feeling great but could not wait until I got my body back to the way it was pre-pregnancy. She looked at me, laughed, and said, "Maria, your body will never be the same as it was before you had kids." I walked out of there thinking she was crazy. I could do it.

I quickly found that some things just cannot be fixed. No amount of working out was going to get my hips to be the way they were (they shifted outward a bit while Ava was cooking in my belly for 9 whole months) or get my stretched out belly skin to lay flat and look nice and smooth again (4 kids does a number on the stretch factor of your stomach area).

All I can say is pooh, pooh, pooh.

So like I said, KIDS happened to my body, and I need to just embrace that and deal with it, cause it ain't gonna change. Insert sigh. Big, long, dramatic sigh.

Note to readers (as I know I have so very many):I do love each and every one of my kids tremendously and they were worth every single stretch mark and every bit of flab. So don't go thinkin' I am a shallow person who only cares about my looks. I care about a lot of things, and my looks are one of them but what woman doesn't?